The Women's Vote

Ladies, in case you didn't know, when the Republicans announced that the governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, would be the vice presidential candidate, they pretty much locked up the women's vote. Game over for Obama. He shoulda picked Hillary.

At least that's what the cashier in my local Stop & Shop was saying late Friday afternoon ... "Well, he's got the women's vote now ..."

Not quite sure what he said after that because, true to my X chromosome, everything above my shoulders just stopped working. Good thing too, because the readers who know me well can't believe that I didn't say anything to the guy ... smiling sweetly and mentioning that I heard one of the southern contingents would be wearing bright orange Virginia for Vaginas T-shirts at the convention this week.

Judging from the words and self-assured ignorant smile of the 40-something white male running the 12-items-or-less lane around 5 p.m. on Friday afternoon of a holiday weekend, we vote with our tits, not with our brains.

We will vote for McCain/Palin because we share issues like motherhood and PMS and do-these-pants-make-me-look-fat. It doesn't matter if we agree on issues like the economy, health care, education, the war in Iraq. We will unite because we understand bad hair days and bloating and that creepy soft handshake men give us so we won't be intimidated or hurt ...

And that's really OK because when I use my brain these days, it starts to hurt. It has to process information like there probably being a lot more men out there with the same thoughts and perceptions of that cashier (and I was in a blue state Stop & Shop, not a Piggly Wiggly or Winn Dixie!).

So unite ladies. The election has been decided for us. We can get back to our knitting circles and sip our cosmopolitans and talk about the stuff that really matters. Like that brownie recipe.