"Now that you're single ..."

It's never easy to tell friends and family you're getting divorced. I suppose it's not easy to respond to the news either.

But when I started telling people my 15-year marriage was ending, the first thing that several -- meaning more than three -- people said to me was: "Now that you're single, you really should change your picture on Facebook."

Do I even need to mention they were all male?

For background, my "picture" on Facebook is the graphic inset here. I've used this graphic for years because I think it represents me pretty well. Half the time I'm at the end of my rope, half the time it's "Ready or not, here I come." I think it's witty and sarcastic and ironic and creative. All things I try to be.

There are also 560 Michelle McKenzies on Facebook. People searching for me know immediately which one I am, in part because it's witty and sarcastic and creative.

And hey, she's got great legs.

But apparently, if you're single, people want to know what you look like. Of course, none of the three guys who very sincerely suggested this took into account that my "friends" on Facebook are actually *gasp* friends. I don't take random friend requests. My friends already know what I look like, appreciate the graphic and have no interest in dating either one of us.

And just the idea of dating makes me want to, well, scream, grab a rope and jump.

I understand the power of social media, I appreciate it and I try to use it when it fits my needs. But I don't think that changing my picture on Facebook (or Twitter for that matter), really fits those needs.

I also find it curious that these three "wise men" all assumed that because I am now single, that I don't want to be. Maybe that's how it is these days. Becoming single is the start of the pursuit of becoming unsingle. And that, in turn, is hangs in the balance of what I look like instead of who I am.

No thanks. Those days are over.

Hello, My Name Is ...

Maybe we don't need Dale Carnegie's tips on how to win friends and influence people. Maybe we just need a name. And heck, I got one of those!

I got a notification last weekend that Michelle McKenzie had added me as a friend. No, it wasn't some pseudo-psycho way of learning to love myself. It was from a chick with the same name whom I had never heard of before Saturday. Of course, because I practice safe text, I did ask her first if it was a legitimate friend request or something randomly generated.

Turns out, Michelle McKenzie sent friend requests to seven of the 141 Michelle McKenzies you get if you search Facebook. She said she thought it would be funny to see status updates like "Michelle McKenzie is now friends with Michelle McKenzie, Michelle McKenzie and Michelle McKenzie." I and three others accepted the requests.

It was a little disconcerting at first. I logged on Saturday afternoon and my news feed said "Michelle McKenzie is home after a Mt. Diablo hike and is now zeroing in on the subject of this year's NaNoWriMo novel."

My first thought was, "I am? Did I enjoy it?"

My second thought was, "Rats, the little voices are back and now they're coming out my fingers."

My third thought was, "Oh yeah, it's my new friend in California."

Now it's pretty entertaining to scroll through status updates or live feeds and see "Michelle McKenzie is climbing the PathWords ladder" or "Michelle McKenzie has joined the Word Challenge Club," and catch myself thinking "I am?" Then I think, we'll, maybe I should. (But not PathWords because it drives me crazy to see the message "So and so is improving their vocabulary in PathWords." Argh.)

You can learn a lot about yourself by searching your own name on Facebook, or at least get good background material for making stuff up. It looks like there are MMs in almost every state and several other countries. We are ethnically diverse and span a couple generations, me being at the far end of that spectrum. One of us is apparently a serving wench and another is a pirate. Some of us think we look good in bikinis.

Michelle California and I probably have a little more in common than some of the others. We think Yellowstone is one of the most amazing places on this planet. We both write, have a love of language (even if I refuse to climb the PathWords ladder) and are pretty damn funny, sometimes in a twisted sort of way.

Michelle McKenzie is now friends with Michelle McKenzie. And for the record, there are about 17 Dale Carnegies on Facebook.