Breast Case Scenario is Worst Case

OK, believe it or not, I started out writing a mini defense of Sarah Palin. Actually, it was more a defense of women, of which I think Palin is one. Trouble is, as I was writing things I firmly believe, I started thinking about some of the stuff she is doing and wow -- just blew my own arguments right out of the water. So what follows below is what I started writing, blended into the conclusions I reached. Hey, just call me Sybil ...

What I had started to say is that while I am not a Sarah Palin supporter, I am getting a little tired of the Palin bashing. Not because it’s not deserved – she’s inexperienced, and stands for a whole host of things for which I have no patience and less respect.

But here’s the thing – it’s starting to feel way too much like the underlying current of the criticism is because she’s a woman. Just like the immediate knee-jerk reaction to her nomination was that women will vote for her because we are all of one uterus, the criticism seems to be genetically based as well.

Now, here’s a thing I’ve learned – as much as men think we’re critical of them, nobody’s tougher on women than other women. From the start, and by start I mean dawn of time, we have been each others’ biggest competition for many things – most prominently guys and jobs, both of which are limited resources if you want a good one with unlimited potential.

At the same time, as much as we may criticize, judge or challenge the way another female wears her hair, does her job, raises her kids, drives, cooks, eats, drinks, shops, talks, sings, votes, leads or follows – we can also find something to defend.

I think I learned that a little later in life than most women do, mostly because I spent so many years operating in a so-called “man’s” world as a sportswriter and editor. I was often the only woman in the pack or one of two or three and the majority of people about whom I was writing were men. It’s still where I’m most comfortable because sports is something I know and love and men are truly less judgmental than women (probably because they’re not quite as smart).

But as I’ve grown closer to my female friends and made new ones, it’s become more and more clear that there’s no one whose going to support you more than another woman. We don’t have to agree or believe the same things, but there is a unique bond based on what we’ve experienced, and if you start to get in that kitchen, we'll circle the wagons.

So, criticize Sarah Palin for believing that we’re carrying out God’s mission in Iraq, for allowing the Wasilla police chief to bill victims for their rape kits, for supporting Ted Stevens and the Bridge to Nowhere, for dodging Troopergate, for only having started paying attention to international affairs in the last five weeks, for not understanding global warming or believing that polar bears are not an endangered species ...

Here is where I was going to list a couple of things about Sarah Palin to defend. We're both moms, both with careers.

I was thinking what courage it takes each day to get up and face the hordes of critics ... but on further review, it's probably ignorance. Really, who has she faced? She's done three interviews, is constantly and consistently shielded from the media, has press restricted almost from the same zip code in which she's meeting heads of state.

I was thinking that all of us have been in situations where we were put on the spot or asked something we were unprepared to answer and have probably said something stupid (for me, "Mazel tov Cocktail" is up there). But we also know that it's better to just stop talking rather than putting together a lot of unrelated words for several minutes ... outloud ... with thousands of people recording these words for millions to watch or read.

And I was thinking that it takes determination and strength to get where she is. The truth is, she's the last best gimmick the Republicans could put out there to draw attention to their dog and pony show. And whether it's lipstick on a pit bull or a Paso Fino, no self-respecting woman -- and certainly none of the women I know -- would allow herself to be trotted out day after day simply because she is a woman.

I Coulda Been A Contendah!

One of my friends always asks "Where do you find these things?" The answer, of course, is the Internet. In this case, courtesy Yglesias. I'm not sure if it's sad or just plain scary, but this could have been me. Thankfully I went the word route instead of the on-camera talent route. Mostly because I can't go that long without blinking and rarely look like a deer caught in headlights.

Random GOP thoughts

To those of you who have been checking for new posts, thanks for reading. It's been awhile. Many reasons, none valid other than sheer laziness.

Nothing jump starts the creative juices quite like a total and mindbogglingly unbelievable meltdown like that of the Republican party. File under truth is stranger than fiction, not to mention a helluva lot more entertaining. Hour by hour it gets more bizarre, almost to the point where it's hard to find the words ... by I'll try.

• There are not truth to the rumors that the GOP is changing the convention slogan to "What Happens in St. Paul, stays in St. Paul.
• There are some hilarious, satirical (and yes, probably highly offensive) photos here. I wish Time or Newsweek ran a column similar to Sports Illustrated's "Signs the Apocalypse is Upon Us." The winner would have to be the report that Bristol Palin's Baby Daddy was joining the Palins at the convention.
• Is it me or does Palin look like Agent 99 (my apologies to Barbara Feldon)? And you know, it's really no stretch to picture John McCain as Maxwell Smart.
• And hey, if Gov. Palin can be vice president, do ya think there's a Cabinet position for Lynne Spears? Department of Labor? How about Health and Human Services?

The Women's Vote

Ladies, in case you didn't know, when the Republicans announced that the governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, would be the vice presidential candidate, they pretty much locked up the women's vote. Game over for Obama. He shoulda picked Hillary.

At least that's what the cashier in my local Stop & Shop was saying late Friday afternoon ... "Well, he's got the women's vote now ..."

Not quite sure what he said after that because, true to my X chromosome, everything above my shoulders just stopped working. Good thing too, because the readers who know me well can't believe that I didn't say anything to the guy ... smiling sweetly and mentioning that I heard one of the southern contingents would be wearing bright orange Virginia for Vaginas T-shirts at the convention this week.

Judging from the words and self-assured ignorant smile of the 40-something white male running the 12-items-or-less lane around 5 p.m. on Friday afternoon of a holiday weekend, we vote with our tits, not with our brains.

We will vote for McCain/Palin because we share issues like motherhood and PMS and do-these-pants-make-me-look-fat. It doesn't matter if we agree on issues like the economy, health care, education, the war in Iraq. We will unite because we understand bad hair days and bloating and that creepy soft handshake men give us so we won't be intimidated or hurt ...

And that's really OK because when I use my brain these days, it starts to hurt. It has to process information like there probably being a lot more men out there with the same thoughts and perceptions of that cashier (and I was in a blue state Stop & Shop, not a Piggly Wiggly or Winn Dixie!).

So unite ladies. The election has been decided for us. We can get back to our knitting circles and sip our cosmopolitans and talk about the stuff that really matters. Like that brownie recipe.