Slow reading in 2022

Last year, I read a lot and posted quarterly book lists. This year, we're in the third quarter of 2022, and I have not read a lot or shared my reading list. I guess that's what happens when the main theme of three of the first five books you read is suicide. And those were followed by Plunder, which was interesting, but slooooow. 

Until recently, I really didn't feel like I had read anything worth sharing, except for Harlem Shuffle. It's brilliant, but as I've said before: Read Colson Whitehead. Period. He is amazing. And Harlem Shuffle has a real Elmore Leonard vibe, at least for me. 

Anyway, I recently finished The Midnight Library by Matt Haig, which was good and also makes the perfect book-club book -- it will foster great discussions & plenty of drinking. That made me revisit my 2022 reading list, and as I looked back on the books I finished, it doesn't suck as much as I thought. Yes, there were some tough topics, but the only book that I really didn't like was Bewilderment by Richard Powers. The others have made up for it. 

Below you'll find the list of what I've read so far in 2022. Any of them (except Bewilderment) are worth a go. Harlem Shuffle and The Midnight Library are definitely the top two, but A Single Thread, The Liar's Dictionary and The Paris Hours are also excellent (the former being a little predictable, but interesting nonetheless). The buzziest on the list is probably All That She Carried, and it is a fascinating story that will make you think about history and family and much more. 

My current list still has about 20 books on it. I don't know if I'll get to them all between now and the end of the year, but I'll definitely share what I get through.

2022 Reading list (through Sept. 9)

The Dutch House/Patchett 

Apples Never Fall / Moriarty 

The Matrix / Groff 

I Keep Trying to Catch His Eye / Maisel (nonfiction)

Bewilderment / Powers 

Plunder: Napoleon's Theft of Veronese's Feast / Saltzman (nonfiction)

Harlem Shuffle / Whitehead 

The Turnout / Abbot 

The Paris Hours / George 

All That She Carried / Miles 

Olive, Again/ Strout 

A Single Thread / Chevalier 

The Liar's Dictionary / Williams 

The Other Black Girl / Harris 

Of Women and Salt / Garcia 

Crying in H Mart / Zauner (nonfiction)

The Midnight Library / Haig 

The Maidens / Michaelides 

A Man Called Ove / Backman

2021 Book List

Remember when blogging was a thing? I haven't written for entertainment purposes in a veeeery long time and, given that it's been nearly a decade (or more than a decade if you count 2020 for what it felt like it lasted), this could very well disappear when I hit "Publish." In 2021, I periodically posted on a different platform the updated list of books I had read. I thought it would be easier to write about the final 2021 list this way, then share the link on that other platform. We'll see. This could be a one-and-done, or it could be the start of something beautiful. In all, my Excel sheet says I read 42 books in 2021. The way the last couple of years have blended together, I may have forgotten one or two. For instance, I can't remember when I read Terror in the City of Champions by Tom Stanton: 2020? 2021? Who knows. I didn't start tracking library check-outs until March-ish. That's important because 95 percent of the list below came from the library. (Bookseller friends, don't hate me: I buy and give copies of the books I like to friends I think will like them.)

Anyway, my list -- complete or not -- is below. It is primarily fiction (88%), and quite diverse. Non-fiction is denoted with an *. There is a clear best & worst: Fight Night by Miriam Toewes, and Earthlings by Sayaka Murata.

I chose a lot of books based on other peoples lists (i.e. Best of 2020; Best Thrillers for a Cold Winter; you get the idea). I read some that were recommended by others. Thank you Sarah Kelbaugh, Kevin Redman, Nancy Brosnahan, Susan from the Dog Park, Ted Lasso. Please note, Kevin recommended The Bookman's Tale, not the book on the list by Kevin Redman. I don't recommend reading several books in a row by the same author, especially if you want to keep the thrill in the thrillers (coughRuthWarecough). There were a few that lived up to the hype (The Vanishing Half! The Boy in the Field! The Nickel Boys!) and a few that were disappointing (The Four Winds, The Guest List, The Pull of the Stars). There were also some really satisfying finds (The Shadow Land, Great Circle, Hamnet, Such a Fun Age). And a few authors I hadn't read before, that I want to read more of, namely Colson Whitehead, Miriam Toewes and Charlie Lovett. Here's to 2022 -- I'm already three books in.

Books Read in 2021

A Wrinkle In Time - L'Engle

Anxious People -- Backman

Bear Town - Backman

Becoming Duchess Goldblatt-Goldblatt*

Beheld-Nesbit

Earthlings -- Murata

Eight Perfect Murders-Swanson

Fight Night - Toewes

Fresh Water for Flowers - Perrin

Great Circle - Shipstead

Hamnet - O’Farrell

In a Dark, Dark Wood-Ware

Memorial-Washington

Night Came with Many Stars- Van Booy

Nine Perfect Strangers-Moriarty

One by One-Ware

Sisters - Johnson

Such a Fun Age-Reid

The Bookman's Tale - Lovett

The Boy in the Field - Livesy

The Dead are Arising-Payne*

The Four Winds -- Hannah

The Girls-Cline

The Good Lord Bird - McBride

The Guest List-Foley

The Historian - Elizabeth Kostova

The Huntress-Quinn

The Last thing he told me -Dave

The Mercies-Hargrave

The Nickel Boys-Whitehead

The Other Side of Someday - Redman*

The Other Wes Moore -- Moore*

The Plot -- Korelitz

The Pull of the Stars - Donoghue

The Shadow Land-Kostova

The Third Rainbow Girl-Eisenberg*

The Turn of the Key-Ware

The Underground Railroad - Whitehead

The Vanishing Half-Bennett

Trigger Warning - Gaiman

When No One is Watching -- Cole

Where’d You Go Bernadette- Semple

Slurring the lines of what's a slur

WTOP in Washington issued an apology yesterday after former defensive end Dexter Manly called former Cowboys quarterback Troy Aikman a name that's just not acceptable in a public forum or anywhere really. (So we can move on and so you don't click away, the word was queer.)

Now, it's been awhile, but I don't remember Manly as being one of the NFL's most cerebral players to begin with, so I'm not really sure why WTOP producers would want to put a mike in front of the man anyway, except for he probably comes cheap.We're talking about a guy who actually managed to get himself kicked out of the NFL for failing drug tests ("In 1989, Manly failed his third drug test and was banned for life, with the opportunity for reinstatement in one year." Yes, you read it right. He was finally really truly banned for life in '91 after a fourth failed test, and served time for cocaine possession in the mid-'90s.)

So unless Dexter Manly is talking about, oh, "Breaking Bad," or "Orange is the New Black," I don't really care what he has to say.

What caught my attention though, is the WTOP apology that began: "This morning in a live interview former Redskins player Dexter Manley made an offensive and derogatory comment."

Remember kids, there's been an uproar off and on for years over the Washington football club's nickname. It has been especially intense since August when owner Dan Snyder saying outright he'll never change the team name. Some writers are refusing to use it this season, and the Associated Press, New York Times and other media outlets jumped on the SEO wagon at the time, announcing they would not publish it, but refer to the team only as Washington.

Apparently, though, WTOP isn't one of 'em. Just so we're clear: It's OK for WTOP to use what many deem an offensive and derogatory nickname in making an apology for a radio guest who made an offensive and derogatory comment.

Blood-sucking vampires

It is Twilight as I'm typing to complain about the American Red Cross. With the number of phone calls I have received lately, you would think the Red Cross was running for a vacant Senate seat. I hung up on the caller for the second time in three days.

I gave blood for the first time a few months ago. I had been meaning to do it for years, but like so many things, just never got around to it. Finally, in February, at the senior center up the street, I did and I felt good about it, even if the tech was a little freaky.

She was a little too excited to see my "lovely, luscious vein." She was pretty and perky and the way her eyes got all big as she inserted the needle making me feel like a supporting character in a Charlaine Harris novel. The time it took me to fill the pint bag came in at the low end of the average ... for men. Being competitive in anything and everything, I do boast about that a little.

A few weeks after I gave blood, I got my donor card and promptly tucked it in my wallet. I checked online for another local blood drive in April when I was eligible, but none were convenient. I got a flyer in the mail, listing upcoming drives. A few days later, I also got a phone call from an eager young man who was giving me the same information that was in the mailer.

It is now the end of the first week of May. I got the May flyer last week, and noticed the Red Cross will be back at my senior center in a couple of weeks, so that's on my calendar. On Wednesday, the Red Cross called. I said thanks, I got the flyer and hung up.

Tonight, the Red Cross called again. I said, sorry, wrong number and hung up. Again.

I understand that the need for blood is critical. When there's a disaster along the lines of 9/11 or Hurricane Katrina, donations soar. But blood has a short shelf life. If it's not used in a certain amount of time, it has to be thrown out. The Red Cross needs more donors and needs them to donate consistently.

However, the repeated phone calls, on top of the mailings, are not the way to get me to donate again. It makes the American Red Cross seem like blood-sucking vampires.

It also makes me question how the nonprofit is spending the monetary donations it receives. According to the Better Business Bureau, 90 percent of donations go to targets; 4 percent to fund-raising and 6 percent to administrative costs. I hope so, but between the amount of mail I'm receiving and the number of phone calls I'm getting, that seems hard to believe.

And the Red Cross isn't that much different from the other charities I choose to support. Many have figured out that email is more cost-effective, but many still choose to mail or call, often for additional donations. Here's a news flash for them: I have given as much as I can. Try eliminating the mailings and paying for the staff who is calling me and see how much farther my donation goes toward supporting your programs.

Think about it: You try to do the right thing, then regularly have someone calling you to tell you it wasn't enough. It makes me tired. And it makes me want to find some other way to give.

With the Red Cross, my donation isn't monetary, but the principle is the same. Maybe I should go out and find a vampire to whom I can offer my blood directly. At least, I would know for sure that my donation is going to save a life. And I wouldn't get nearly as many phone calls.

"Now that you're single ..."

It's never easy to tell friends and family you're getting divorced. I suppose it's not easy to respond to the news either.

But when I started telling people my 15-year marriage was ending, the first thing that several -- meaning more than three -- people said to me was: "Now that you're single, you really should change your picture on Facebook."

Do I even need to mention they were all male?

For background, my "picture" on Facebook is the graphic inset here. I've used this graphic for years because I think it represents me pretty well. Half the time I'm at the end of my rope, half the time it's "Ready or not, here I come." I think it's witty and sarcastic and ironic and creative. All things I try to be.

There are also 560 Michelle McKenzies on Facebook. People searching for me know immediately which one I am, in part because it's witty and sarcastic and creative.

And hey, she's got great legs.

But apparently, if you're single, people want to know what you look like. Of course, none of the three guys who very sincerely suggested this took into account that my "friends" on Facebook are actually *gasp* friends. I don't take random friend requests. My friends already know what I look like, appreciate the graphic and have no interest in dating either one of us.

And just the idea of dating makes me want to, well, scream, grab a rope and jump.

I understand the power of social media, I appreciate it and I try to use it when it fits my needs. But I don't think that changing my picture on Facebook (or Twitter for that matter), really fits those needs.

I also find it curious that these three "wise men" all assumed that because I am now single, that I don't want to be. Maybe that's how it is these days. Becoming single is the start of the pursuit of becoming unsingle. And that, in turn, is hangs in the balance of what I look like instead of who I am.

No thanks. Those days are over.

Getting it off my chest

The recent news about the former Miss California, Carrie Prejean, getting a book deal opens the door for me to rant for a moment about the fact that the Miss California Pageant paid for her breast implants.

Now, I don’t have a problem with any getting implants and I am willing to wager that the majority of beauty pageant contestants have got them. What’s really sticking in my craw, is that the Miss California Pageant paid for them before she went on to compete for the Miss USA title.

Not Prejean herself, but the people running the show. I’m sure the California pageant officials just thought they were leveling the playing field. But I can’t help but wonder if they were sitting around a table sizing up the competition when they decided their Barbie lookalike would be a bust without a bigger bust.

Keith Lewis, the co-director for the pageant, has said bigger boobs were Prejean’s idea. And in May, he told an “Early Show” anchor that his board meets with the titleholder and asks questions about her opinion of herself and what can give her the “best possible confidence … to present herself … on the national stage.”

The woman had already won the state pageant in one of the biggest states in the country. Funny, but for me, that’d be a pretty big confidence boost. Or affirmation.

From where I sit, this is like the director of baseball operations for the Kansas City Royals (who stink, to you nonbaseball-types) holding a team meeting to tell his players they’ll all be getting HGH injections so they’ll hit more homeruns and throw harder pitches.

Granted, HGH is a banned substance and silicone is not. If Prejean paid for the implants herself -- taken out a loan, held a bake sale, whatever – I’d have no problem with it.

But when the California pageant coughed up the dough for the augmentation, it sent (yet another) message to young women everywhere about body image and who makes the decisions about how we look.

By the way, there’s no word yet on whether or not Prejean will have to give her breasts back or reimburse the pageant since she lost the crown. Over nude pictures. Taken before the surgery. Anyone else see the irony?

Heroes

I read a story last week bemoaning the way we tend to make heroes out of sports stars. And it's true. Just because a guy can hit a ball a long way or throw a ball a long way or swim better than anyone else in the world doesn't make him a hero. It just makes him rich.



Same goes for entertainers. Just because somebody can dance or act or sing doesn't mean he's above hitting a woman (James Brown, Chris Brown ... I can get cross-generational), or serves as a role model.



But the story I read last week pretty much said that no athletes should be revered as heroes, and that's simply not true. The problem is, the stories about heroes -- true heroes who are building their communities from the grassroots up or making huge differences in average lives and don't have a publicist shouting their every deed from the rooftops -- these stories usually don't get told.



Thankfully, sometimes they do. Like this one about the DeKalb, Ill., high school basketball team. Its players and coach are heroes and athletes and inspiration for all of us.

Attitude

I'm sure people sometimes wonder (although they don't really ask) about my attitude.

I've got one. I admit it. It comes across differently to different people -- and yeah, there are some who might call it "bad." But not to my face. I think most people who think they know me call it tough.

Basically, it's just attitude. I tell you what I think, when I think it. Occasionally, and unfortunately, my next thought is "I really should keep that to myself."

Hence, the attitude.

For those who wonder where it comes from though, it's in my Michigan roots and this sums it up perfectly: Apparently, WDIV, the NBC affiliate in Detroit that broadcast the Super Bowl, ran a disclaimer across the bottom of the screen EVERY TIME "analyst" Matt Millen appeared on-screen.

And it read thusly: "Matt Millen was president of the Lions for the worst eight-year run in the history of the NFL. Knowing his history with the team, is there a credibility issue as he now serves as an analyst for NBC Sports?"

I have to say that I was a bit, er, taken aback when I saw Millen giving viewers his thoughts during football's biggest game. It's kind of like if George Bush were to be hired by NBC as a stock analyst.

I'm not saying that just because Millen had absolutely no judgment when it came to staffing a football team and selecting talent that he couldn't effectively tell viewers what was happening on the field.

I am saying that you don't reward the guy that drives the bus off the cliff. I am saying that there were at least a handful of former coaches/execs out there that would have been a better, more respectable choice. And I'm saying I turned the volume off whenever Millen's mug showed up on the screen.

Way to go WDIV. Attitude? You betcha. Got a problem with that?

College football's no-brainer

Oooooak-la-homa ... that wind that comes rushing down the plain is the huge sigh of relief from Sooners fans who found out today that they'll have Heisman-winning quarterback Sam Bradford for one more season.

Hmmm ... maybe it's me (and often it is) but it seems like the most recognizable names in college football this season are staying put rather than coming out for the NFL draft. And you can't help but wonder if for guys like Bradford the Detroit Lions weighed in on the decision-making process.

And think about it: the 0-16 Lions are so bad, the top prospects would stay in school, risk injury or their stock dropping with a sub-par season rather than being the No. 1 draft choice and being sentenced to serving time in Detroit.

Guys like Bradford are smart enough to know that the economy is going to recover before the Lions. They're smart enough, but probably not old enough, to realize that the Lions are William Clay Ford's version of the Pinto. Hit 'em and they explode. They're smart enough to know that the fans in Detroit will suffer through 0-20, 1-23, 4-28 before they start to see enough consistency to think about having a .500 team, let alone a playoff team.

The Lions are not the 2008 Atlanta Falcons. There was some talent there. The Falcons' biggest problem was image. And with a guy like Matt Ryan, it wasn't hard to fix.

In Detroit, the problems are more than skin deep and a pretty face isn't going to fix it. There's always a chance they'll trade it away. But if they keep it, for a short time, the No. 1 pick will be seen as a savior. But as soon as the reality of the Motor City Breakdown sets in, it'll be clear that the No. 1 pick, whoever he is, is just a start on a very long road to redemption.

Detroit's Road to Recovery

Every time I'm home -- that is, back in Michigan -- I can't help but think it's a conspiracy.

You see, the roads here suck. There's no other word for it, although there's a slew of adjectives you could put in front of it. They just plain suck: Cement, not black top; full of potholes that look like they were left by dinosaur-extincting meteors. They're worse in the winter, but they're bad all year round.

My theory is, the roads are like this on purpose. It's the Michigan politicians' way of keeping the auto industry in business by ensuring a consistent, continuous need for vehicle parts and repairs, if not entire new cars altogether. Forget the hubcaps or shredded rubber you see on the side of most major highways.

Yesterday, during a trip up I-75 North and I-96 West, I passed not one, but two front ends. Not a piece of body -- the entire front end, like the ones that pop on and off my son's Megablocks r/c racer.

It seems like every other building you pass out here has a sign that reads Ford, GM, Daimler. It's a testament to exactly how important the auto industry is to MI. Absolutely everything is tied to it. Even the potholes.

Pondering the bailout

I've started posts about the auto industry bailout a couple of times, but my thoughts were always incomplete. You know, with Detroit roots, but Yankee sensibilities, I'm still undecided on the issue.

I know that the people who are against it are right about one thing regarding the Detroit Automakers: they need a legitimate, new 21st Century business plan. And there's nothing wrong with Congress asking for that. From the dawn of time, or at least the dawn of horseless carriage time, GM, Ford and Chrysler have resisted change (back in the day it was seat belts and windshield wipers) because they could make more money by doing the same old, same old.

I know that when I take my Escape to the dealer on Wednesday, my oil change will be $54.95 plus tax; when Midas can do it for $19.99. Too bad the twerp at Midas makes it condescendingly clear that he doesn't think girls understand gears.

I also know that, having grown up in Detroit, my conscience won't let me buy Honda or Toyota and I still love my cars.

And finally, I know that this Letter to the Editor by a Ford dealer in PA makes some terrific points in a very direct and eloquent way. He definitely gives you something to think about.

By Jim Jackson, Elkins Ford, PA

Editor: As I watch the coverage of the fate of the U.S. auto industry, one alarming and frustrating fact hits me right between the eyes. The fate of our nation's economic survival is in the hands of some congressmen who are completely out of touch and act without knowledge of an industry that affects almost every person in our nation. The same lack of knowledge is shared with many journalists whom are irresponsible when influencing the opinion of millions of viewers.
Sen. Richard Shelby of Alabama has doomed the industry, calling it a dinosaur. No Mr. Shelby, you are the dinosaur, with ideas stuck in the '70s, '80s and '90s. You and the uninformed journalist and senators that hold onto myths that are not relevant in today's world.

When you say that the Big Three build vehicles nobody wants to buy, you must have overlooked that GM outsold Toyota by about 1.2 million vehicles in the U.S. and Ford outsold Honda by 850,000 and Nissan by 1.2 million in the U.S. GM was the world's No. 1 automaker beating Toyota by 3,000 units.

When you claim inferior quality comes from the Big Three, did you realize that Chevy makes the Malibu and Ford makes the Fusion that were both rated over the Camry and Accord by J.D. Power independent survey on initial quality? Did you bother to read the Consumer Report that rated Ford on par with good Japanese automakers.

Did you realize Big Three's gas guzzlers include the 33 mpg Malibu that beats the Accord. And for '09 Ford introduces the Hybrid Fusion whose 39 mpg is the best midsize, beating the Camry Hybrid. Ford's Focus beats the Corolla and Chevy's Cobalt beats the Civic.

When you ask how many times are we going to bail them out you must be referring to 1980. The only Big Three bailout was Chrysler, who paid back $1 billion, plus interest. GM and Ford have never received government aid.

When you criticize the Big Three for building so many pickups, surely you've noticed the attempts Toyota and Nissan have made spending billions to try to get a piece of that pie. Perhaps it bothers you that for 31 straight years Ford's F-Series has been the best selling vehicle. Ford and GM have dominated this market and when you see the new '09 F-150 you'll agree this won't change soon.
Did you realize that both GM and Ford offer more hybrid models than Nissan or Honda. Between 2005 and 2007, Ford alone has invested more than $22 billion in research and development of technologies such as Eco Boost, flex fuel, clean diesel, hybrids, plug in hybrids and hydrogen cars.
It's 2008 and the quality of the vehicles coming out of Detroit are once again the best in the world.

Perhaps Sen. Shelby isn't really that blind. Maybe he realizes the quality shift to American. Maybe it's the fact that his state of Alabama has given so much to land factories from Honda, Hyundai and Mercedes Benz that he is more concerned about their continued growth than he is about the people of our country. Sen. Shelby's disdain for "government subsidies" is very hypocritical. In the early '90s he was the driving force behind a $253 million incentive package to Mercedes. Plus, Alabama agreed to purchase 2,500 vehicles from Mercedes. While the bridge loan the Big Three is requesting will be paid back, Alabama's $180,000-plus per job was pure incentive. Sen. Shelby, not only are you out of touch, you are a self-serving hypocrite, who is prepared to ruin our nation because of lack of knowledge and lack of due diligence in making your opinions and decisions.
After 9/11, the Detroit Three and Harley Davidson gave $40 million-plus emergency vehicles to the recovery efforts. What was given to the 9/11 relief effort by the Asian and European Auto Manufactures? $0 Nada. Zip!

We live in a world of free trade, world economy and we have not been able to produce products as cost efficiently. While the governments of other auto producing nations subsidize their automakers, our government may be ready to force its demise. While our automakers have paid union wages, benefits and legacy debt, our Asian competitors employ cheap labor. We are at an extreme disadvantage in production cost. Although many UAW concessions begin in 2010, many lawmakers think it's not enough.

Some point the blame to corporate management. I would like to speak of Ford Motor Co. The company has streamlined by reducing our workforce by 51,000 since 2005, closing 17 plants and cutting expenses. Product and future product is excellent and the company is focused on one Ford. This is a company poised for success. Ford product quality and corporate management have improved light years since the nightmare of Jacques Nasser. Thank you Alan Mulally and the best auto company management team in the business.

The financial collapse caused by the secondary mortgage fiasco and the greed of Wall Street has led to a $700 billion bailout of the industry that created the problem. AIG spent nearly $1 million on three company excursions to lavish resorts and hunting destinations. Paulson is saying no to $250 billion foreclosure relief and the whole thing is a mess. So when the Big Three ask for 4 percent of that of the $700 billion, $25 billion to save the country's largest industry, there is obviously oppositions. But does it make sense to reward the culprits of the problem with $700 billion unconditionally, and ignore the victims?

As a Ford dealer, I feel our portion of the $25 billion will never be touched and is not necessary. Ford currently has $29 billion of liquidity. However, the effect of a bankruptcy by GM will hurt the suppliers we all do business with. A Chapter 11 bankruptcy by any manufacture would cost retirees their health care and retirements. Chances are GM would recover from Chapter 11 with a better business plan with much less expense. So who foots the bill if GM or all three go Chapter 11? All that extra health care, unemployment, loss of tax base and some forgiven debt goes back to the taxpayer, us. With no chance of repayment, this would be much worse than a loan with the intent of repayment.

So while it is debatable whether a loan or Chapter 11 is better for the Big Three, a $25 billion loan is definitely better for the taxpayers and the economy of our country.

So I'll end where I began on the quality of the products of Detroit. Before you, Mr. or Ms. Journalist continue to misinform the American public and turn them against one of the great industries that helped build this nation, I must ask you one question. Before you, Mr. or Madam Congressman vote to end health care and retirement benefits for 1 million retirees, eliminate 2.5 million of our nation's jobs, lose the technology that will lead us in the future and create an economic disaster including hundreds of billions of tax dollars lost, I ask this question not in the rhetorical sense. I ask it in the sincere, literal way. Can you tell me, have you driven a Ford lately?

Bear With Me

So it's been awhile, but I'm back.

Did you see the news today? Oh boy. The Berlin Zoo may have to give up Knut, the polar bear. What will the Berliners do? And did I just call them jelly donuts? My German is not good. Or existent.

Anyway, two things about this that I found particularly funny.

First, bear keeper Heiner Kloes' quote in the story: "The survival of the species is more important than any individual. I won't hang on to Knut if it means keeping him with an old lady."

How many times have we heard that ladies?

Second, there was a story on msn.com earlier in the week along the lines of "How to tell the difference between a boy polar bear and a girl polar bear." I didn't read it, but it stuck with me.

So of course my first thought when I saw the Knut story today was that headline. My second thought was, look for his Knuts.

That's My Girl, Part ii

Lessons in DNA

We all -- and by all I mean my fellow females (and BTW, is that an oxymoron? fellow females) -- Anyway, we all have that Oh-My-God-I've-Become-My-Mother moment. Hopefully, someone else is driving at the time. Hopefully, we're not holding anything sharp. Hopefully, the moment passes.

Sometimes that moment comes looking in the mirror, finding a wrinkle or yet another gray hair. Often it comes when some particular sentence jettisons itself from your mouth, , usually starting with "If you don't cut that out I'll ...," "Wait 'til your father ... " or "Just wait until you have kids ..."

I think that moment came at least two decades too early for my daughter this week. I showed her the pictures posted here, one taken in 2004, the other in 1971.

All she could say was "Mom, put it away. That's really freakin' me out." At least she wasn't holding anything sharp.

Just a thought

So I'm wondering -- Is Obama's grandmother dying the night before the election for president of these United States anything like Bo Schembechler dying right before Michigan played Ohio State for No. 1 almost exactly two years ago?

Grosse Pointe (Blank)

Even I don't have words for this. I guess what makes America great is that even idiots can express their opinions. And then the rest of us can ridicule them. It's just too bad that none of the trick-or-treaters were dressed as Dorothy. It would have been great to see a bucket of water make this witch melt away.

Vote!

OK, two of my friends -- who are nothing alike and have never met -- sent me this video. A week apart. What are you people trying to tell me? And what on earth makes you think I wouldn't? I will admit, the headline is pretty cool. But it's not the first time an old, er, older person has spoken to me like that.

The point is, vote on Tuesday dammit. Don't end up a CNN exclusive. And don't let McPalin win by a vote.

That's My Girl

I knocked on my daughter's door to wake her up around 7:30 one morning last week and there she stood, already dressed, complete with baseball glove on her hand.

A few days before, we had been watching the Red Sox during dinner and somebody slid hard into second. My son said, "He should watch it. He could hurt somebody."

Nina said, "Yeah, like Ty Cobb used to," and went on to explain that Cobb used to sharpen his spikes for just that reason -- to discourage a play when he was stealing a base.

That's my girl.

Sometimes, it's like living with Mini Me. I backed off a little early on, when at age 2 or so she spent as much time arranging her crayons in a very precise, very straight line as she did coloring. I must not have tried hard enough.

Nina's as cynical and sarcastic as they come. Which is saying a lot since she's not quite 10. She constantly rides her brother, correcting and challenging almost every sentence out of the poor kid's mouth. She loves sports and books and animals and exploring. She's fascinated by finding things out, always wanting to learn something new and she gets distracted halfway through a project and moves on to what's next. She'll finish it eventually. She likes games and competing, though she's more interested in beating her brother or her parents than, say, the other soccer team.

In other ways, she is as unlike me as she could possibly be. Not particularly organized. Much more, um, relaxed in the neatness department. She's built like a Russian tennis player. She has her own pace, own agenda, and I'm not quite sure what color the sun is in her world, but I believe it's a happy, girly color like cotton candy pink or a luscious lilac.

Admittedly, these things often want to make me want to scream loudly and rip my hair out. But I know if I did, I'd hear Nina's voice saying, "You know Mom, that's really not a good look for you. But at least it's not gray anymore."

Read Between the Lines, Pt. II

Apparently, although reading before bed is as good as melatonin, blogging for bed is more like adrenaline.

Almost got up to post this at 2:23 a.m., but thought I'd have a better chance of getting some rest without all the lights and sounds and stimulation.

Never really happened. Instead of relaxing, unwinding and drifting off, couldn't stop thinking about all the writing assignments looming (professional and recreational) and how to approach them. Not. Conducive. To. Sleep.

Rats.

Unfortunately, I should have gotten up in the wee hours to jot down some thoughts, because 9 hours later, I don't really care. I will care again. Eventually. I'll interview a wonderful woman who will talk about her cause, it will be like getting hopped up on sugar and caffeine from a lovely non-fat cinnamon latte and I'll get some writing done.

Then I'll crash. And hopefully sleep.

Soundly.

Read Between the Lines

I am, at the moment, between books and quite honestly, I feel a little naked.

You could say I read a lot. Probably four or five books a month (although the behemoth "Pillars Of The Earth" took almost a month itself). And I'm not one of those people who can read several things at the same time. A book is like a nice, hot bubble bath. You wouldn't put the shower on as well. I like to fully immerse myself in one read at a time.

I'm a little obsessive-compulsive, er, thorough when it comes to what I read too. I'll consume as much as I can on a certain subject (art -- "Michelangelo and the Pope's Ceiling," "Strapless: John Singer Sargent and the Fall of Madam X;" Mormons -- "The Poet and the Murderer," "The Biography of Joseph Smith" "Shattered Dreams," "Under the Banner of Heaven") or by a particular author (Margaret Atwood, Elmore Leonard, Jon Krakauer).

Sometimes I'll pick up those "shoulda" books -- classics we shoulda read in high school or college ("The Iliad," "The Odyssey," "The House of Seven Gables").

When I start to feel a little soft in the head, I go non-fiction ("The Beak of the Finch: The Story of Evolution in Our Time," "The Peabody Sisters: Three Women who Ignited Romanticism"). And when it's time for a mindless escape, Anita Shreve has been popping up a lot lately.

Some might call it escapism. I prefer "quest for knowledge." It also helps me get to sleep at night.

But I just finished "Here If You Need Me," by Kate Braestrup, and the two titles I have on hold at the library haven't come in yet. So here I am, caught with my dustcover down.

It's almost time for Harry Potter again, from the beginning and consecutively, but not quite yet. And sadly, there's nothing in the pile of 14 books next to my bed that really interests me at the moment.

In need of some sort of mental fig leaf, tonight I'm going to give "The Last Expedition" a shot. And hope the library calls soon to say my books are in.

Hello, My Name Is ...

Maybe we don't need Dale Carnegie's tips on how to win friends and influence people. Maybe we just need a name. And heck, I got one of those!

I got a notification last weekend that Michelle McKenzie had added me as a friend. No, it wasn't some pseudo-psycho way of learning to love myself. It was from a chick with the same name whom I had never heard of before Saturday. Of course, because I practice safe text, I did ask her first if it was a legitimate friend request or something randomly generated.

Turns out, Michelle McKenzie sent friend requests to seven of the 141 Michelle McKenzies you get if you search Facebook. She said she thought it would be funny to see status updates like "Michelle McKenzie is now friends with Michelle McKenzie, Michelle McKenzie and Michelle McKenzie." I and three others accepted the requests.

It was a little disconcerting at first. I logged on Saturday afternoon and my news feed said "Michelle McKenzie is home after a Mt. Diablo hike and is now zeroing in on the subject of this year's NaNoWriMo novel."

My first thought was, "I am? Did I enjoy it?"

My second thought was, "Rats, the little voices are back and now they're coming out my fingers."

My third thought was, "Oh yeah, it's my new friend in California."

Now it's pretty entertaining to scroll through status updates or live feeds and see "Michelle McKenzie is climbing the PathWords ladder" or "Michelle McKenzie has joined the Word Challenge Club," and catch myself thinking "I am?" Then I think, we'll, maybe I should. (But not PathWords because it drives me crazy to see the message "So and so is improving their vocabulary in PathWords." Argh.)

You can learn a lot about yourself by searching your own name on Facebook, or at least get good background material for making stuff up. It looks like there are MMs in almost every state and several other countries. We are ethnically diverse and span a couple generations, me being at the far end of that spectrum. One of us is apparently a serving wench and another is a pirate. Some of us think we look good in bikinis.

Michelle California and I probably have a little more in common than some of the others. We think Yellowstone is one of the most amazing places on this planet. We both write, have a love of language (even if I refuse to climb the PathWords ladder) and are pretty damn funny, sometimes in a twisted sort of way.

Michelle McKenzie is now friends with Michelle McKenzie. And for the record, there are about 17 Dale Carnegies on Facebook.