"Now that you're single ..."

It's never easy to tell friends and family you're getting divorced. I suppose it's not easy to respond to the news either.

But when I started telling people my 15-year marriage was ending, the first thing that several -- meaning more than three -- people said to me was: "Now that you're single, you really should change your picture on Facebook."

Do I even need to mention they were all male?

For background, my "picture" on Facebook is the graphic inset here. I've used this graphic for years because I think it represents me pretty well. Half the time I'm at the end of my rope, half the time it's "Ready or not, here I come." I think it's witty and sarcastic and ironic and creative. All things I try to be.

There are also 560 Michelle McKenzies on Facebook. People searching for me know immediately which one I am, in part because it's witty and sarcastic and creative.

And hey, she's got great legs.

But apparently, if you're single, people want to know what you look like. Of course, none of the three guys who very sincerely suggested this took into account that my "friends" on Facebook are actually *gasp* friends. I don't take random friend requests. My friends already know what I look like, appreciate the graphic and have no interest in dating either one of us.

And just the idea of dating makes me want to, well, scream, grab a rope and jump.

I understand the power of social media, I appreciate it and I try to use it when it fits my needs. But I don't think that changing my picture on Facebook (or Twitter for that matter), really fits those needs.

I also find it curious that these three "wise men" all assumed that because I am now single, that I don't want to be. Maybe that's how it is these days. Becoming single is the start of the pursuit of becoming unsingle. And that, in turn, is hangs in the balance of what I look like instead of who I am.

No thanks. Those days are over.

Getting it off my chest

The recent news about the former Miss California, Carrie Prejean, getting a book deal opens the door for me to rant for a moment about the fact that the Miss California Pageant paid for her breast implants.

Now, I don’t have a problem with any getting implants and I am willing to wager that the majority of beauty pageant contestants have got them. What’s really sticking in my craw, is that the Miss California Pageant paid for them before she went on to compete for the Miss USA title.

Not Prejean herself, but the people running the show. I’m sure the California pageant officials just thought they were leveling the playing field. But I can’t help but wonder if they were sitting around a table sizing up the competition when they decided their Barbie lookalike would be a bust without a bigger bust.

Keith Lewis, the co-director for the pageant, has said bigger boobs were Prejean’s idea. And in May, he told an “Early Show” anchor that his board meets with the titleholder and asks questions about her opinion of herself and what can give her the “best possible confidence … to present herself … on the national stage.”

The woman had already won the state pageant in one of the biggest states in the country. Funny, but for me, that’d be a pretty big confidence boost. Or affirmation.

From where I sit, this is like the director of baseball operations for the Kansas City Royals (who stink, to you nonbaseball-types) holding a team meeting to tell his players they’ll all be getting HGH injections so they’ll hit more homeruns and throw harder pitches.

Granted, HGH is a banned substance and silicone is not. If Prejean paid for the implants herself -- taken out a loan, held a bake sale, whatever – I’d have no problem with it.

But when the California pageant coughed up the dough for the augmentation, it sent (yet another) message to young women everywhere about body image and who makes the decisions about how we look.

By the way, there’s no word yet on whether or not Prejean will have to give her breasts back or reimburse the pageant since she lost the crown. Over nude pictures. Taken before the surgery. Anyone else see the irony?

Heroes

I read a story last week bemoaning the way we tend to make heroes out of sports stars. And it's true. Just because a guy can hit a ball a long way or throw a ball a long way or swim better than anyone else in the world doesn't make him a hero. It just makes him rich.



Same goes for entertainers. Just because somebody can dance or act or sing doesn't mean he's above hitting a woman (James Brown, Chris Brown ... I can get cross-generational), or serves as a role model.



But the story I read last week pretty much said that no athletes should be revered as heroes, and that's simply not true. The problem is, the stories about heroes -- true heroes who are building their communities from the grassroots up or making huge differences in average lives and don't have a publicist shouting their every deed from the rooftops -- these stories usually don't get told.



Thankfully, sometimes they do. Like this one about the DeKalb, Ill., high school basketball team. Its players and coach are heroes and athletes and inspiration for all of us.

Attitude

I'm sure people sometimes wonder (although they don't really ask) about my attitude.

I've got one. I admit it. It comes across differently to different people -- and yeah, there are some who might call it "bad." But not to my face. I think most people who think they know me call it tough.

Basically, it's just attitude. I tell you what I think, when I think it. Occasionally, and unfortunately, my next thought is "I really should keep that to myself."

Hence, the attitude.

For those who wonder where it comes from though, it's in my Michigan roots and this sums it up perfectly: Apparently, WDIV, the NBC affiliate in Detroit that broadcast the Super Bowl, ran a disclaimer across the bottom of the screen EVERY TIME "analyst" Matt Millen appeared on-screen.

And it read thusly: "Matt Millen was president of the Lions for the worst eight-year run in the history of the NFL. Knowing his history with the team, is there a credibility issue as he now serves as an analyst for NBC Sports?"

I have to say that I was a bit, er, taken aback when I saw Millen giving viewers his thoughts during football's biggest game. It's kind of like if George Bush were to be hired by NBC as a stock analyst.

I'm not saying that just because Millen had absolutely no judgment when it came to staffing a football team and selecting talent that he couldn't effectively tell viewers what was happening on the field.

I am saying that you don't reward the guy that drives the bus off the cliff. I am saying that there were at least a handful of former coaches/execs out there that would have been a better, more respectable choice. And I'm saying I turned the volume off whenever Millen's mug showed up on the screen.

Way to go WDIV. Attitude? You betcha. Got a problem with that?

College football's no-brainer

Oooooak-la-homa ... that wind that comes rushing down the plain is the huge sigh of relief from Sooners fans who found out today that they'll have Heisman-winning quarterback Sam Bradford for one more season.

Hmmm ... maybe it's me (and often it is) but it seems like the most recognizable names in college football this season are staying put rather than coming out for the NFL draft. And you can't help but wonder if for guys like Bradford the Detroit Lions weighed in on the decision-making process.

And think about it: the 0-16 Lions are so bad, the top prospects would stay in school, risk injury or their stock dropping with a sub-par season rather than being the No. 1 draft choice and being sentenced to serving time in Detroit.

Guys like Bradford are smart enough to know that the economy is going to recover before the Lions. They're smart enough, but probably not old enough, to realize that the Lions are William Clay Ford's version of the Pinto. Hit 'em and they explode. They're smart enough to know that the fans in Detroit will suffer through 0-20, 1-23, 4-28 before they start to see enough consistency to think about having a .500 team, let alone a playoff team.

The Lions are not the 2008 Atlanta Falcons. There was some talent there. The Falcons' biggest problem was image. And with a guy like Matt Ryan, it wasn't hard to fix.

In Detroit, the problems are more than skin deep and a pretty face isn't going to fix it. There's always a chance they'll trade it away. But if they keep it, for a short time, the No. 1 pick will be seen as a savior. But as soon as the reality of the Motor City Breakdown sets in, it'll be clear that the No. 1 pick, whoever he is, is just a start on a very long road to redemption.